DDDDD IIIII SSSS ''' ''' ''' DDDDD A TTTTT D D I S S ''' ''' n ''' D D A A T D D I S ' ' nnnnnn ' D D A A T D D I SSSS ' ' n n ' D D A A T D D I S n n D D AAAAAAA T D D I S S n n D D A A T DDDDD IIIII SSSS n n DDDDD A A T "All Disney news fitted to print" -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Volume 1 Number 1 April 93 Edition --------------------------------------------------------------------------
In this issue...
"We don't want any more fighting in this sport," commented Michael Eisner, who fancies himself as a hockey fan. "We are going to use our new influence in the league to tone down the violence."
How? You might ask.
Good question. We have done some digging and our Disney inciter, Deep Beak, has come through with the low-down.
"First, we are going to get rid of the Penalty Box. It only reminds people that a skater can skewer an opponent and only get three minutes in a box as a punishment. Although spending time `in the box' can sound like something from `Cool Hand Luke,' we at Disney have a new idea, one for the 90's. From now on, people getting caught doing anything violent, on or off the ice, will be sealed in a magic lamp and buried in the desert for a few centuries."
Ahh, the Disney touch. Do you think the players will accede to these conditions?
"Sure. Remember, we have contracts, and none of them currently specifically say that we can't do this."
What about the other managers and owners?
"Once a player is banished for a few hundred years, the owners will not be obligated to continue paying the player's salary until the player is released from the magic lamp, which could take a bit of time, not to mention luck."
What will this do to the game?
"We have run a computer simulation of this scenario, and we found that in the first few weeks, there will be little or no changes. Then, the real violent players will soon disappear, leaving the game to those that _really_ love the sport."
And what will the game be like then?
"Comparing today's hockey game to tomorrows will be like comparing the Star Tours ride at Disneyland to Dumbo's Magical Flight."
Leave it to Disney...
As a public service, we present a continuing listing of the plot
summaries for some of Walt Disney Productions' past productions.
This month, we have the first two Disney animated features: Snow
White and the Seven Dwarfs, and Pinnochio.
Based on one of the most popular pasttimes amoung Disney-philes, we
are introducing the DIS' 'N' DAT "Find the Hidden Mickey" contest.
The concept is simple.
Hidden on Michael Eisner is at least one image of the famous Mouse.
The contest is to figure out EXACTLY where on Michael Eisner the
famous visage resides.
All people that care to enter, simply send mail to
"lar3ry@world.std.com," with a subject line containing the phrase
"Hidden Mickey Contest," and describe exactly where you have spotted
(or think you have spotted) Ole Mick' on the CEO of the Walt Disney
Company.
Contestants may enter as many times as they wish, and make as many
"findings" as desired in each entry.
If you wish your entry to be anonymous, please state so in your entry.
The results will be posted in a future issue of DIS' 'N' DAT.
So, all you out there in net-land... help the Great Mouse Detective
find the hidden Mickey on Mikey.
All incidents, situations, and events depicted or described in
DIS' 'n' DAT are fictional, and any semblance to real
life is really, you know, coincidental.
People wishing to contribute to DIS' 'n' DAT should send
email to the publication at the internet address below. Please state
explicitly if you wish to retain copyright or anonymity for any
material submitted.
Top 10 Alternate Names for Disney's Team
More than one person has commented about the unfortunate choice of
"The Mighty Ducks of Anaheim" as the name for the new NHL expansion
team.
We at DIS' 'N' DAT have learned that this was not the only name that
had been considered.
In the spirit of David Letterman's "Top Ten Lists," we present the
ten runner's up to the teams current name.
And, our favorite at DIS' 'N' DAT was...
Plot Summaries
Here at DIS' 'N' DAT, we realize that not all of our readers may be
exactly familiar with the work of Walt Disney Productions.
The company has put out a number of animated shorts, animated
features, live action features, and documentaries.
Find the Hidden Mickey...
DIS' 'N' DAT is going to sponsor our first ever contest.
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DIS' 'n' DAT is published semi-regularly by Larry Gensch.
Nothing may be reprinted in whoe or in part without attribution to
DIS' 'n' DAT.