DIS' 'n' DAT "All Disney news fitted to print" ____________________________________________________________ Volume 1 Number 3 June 93 Edition ____________________________________________________________ In this issue... + DIS'ey Gossip + Top 10 Movie Titles Rejected by Touchstone + Good and Bad at Disney + Find the Hidden Mickey... ____________________________________________________________ DIS'ey Gossip ____________________________________________________________ The CEO of a famous AMERICAN studio has heard singing the following DITTY adapted from a popular ride at DISNEY- LAND: "Yo Ho, Yo Ho! Another $200 MILLION for me!" Ah, cap- italism. Former Disney animator DON BLUTH, who is having money problems getting his latest animated flick, "THUMBE- LINA," out of the door, has been seen lately SIGHING WIST- FULLY over these reports. Yet another former Disney animator, TIM BURTON is readying his latest work for release by the studio that the MOUSE built. Called "THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS," it consists of stop-motion clay animation. Former U.S. Vice President DAN QUAYLE has reportedly turned down a starring role (one of the few humans that could pass as a clay model). Mr. Burton, who you may recall from his minor hits "BATMAN," "BATMAN RETURNS," "EDWARD SCISSORHANDS," and, of course the super colossal mega-hit "FRANKENWEENIE," is sure to impart his trademark happy-go-lucky, freewheeling, and UPBEAT tempo to this work. In the wake of the PHENOMENAL success of the DISNEY STORES, the company will soon embark on a new financial ven- ture called "THE DISNEY GROCERY." This store will special- ize in grocery items with a Disney theme. A new line of DISNEY CHANNEL T.V. DINNERS will be available exclusively to this outlet (obviously, you must bring your own cable). MAGIC KINGDOM CLUB cardmembers will get their customary 10% June 93 DIS' 'N' DAT Page 2 discount on the items in the stores (which will be approxi- mately 50% above comparable cost available elsewhere). In a not-so-surprising move, they have announced that MKC members that are DISNEY STOCKHOLDERS will get a 10% MARKUP on their purchases instead. After receiving a BODY CHECK from an anonymous hockey player, the publisher of DIS' 'N' DAT is not going to make any comments in this issue about a certain SOUTHERN CALIFOR- NIA NHL EXPANSION TEAM. ____________________________________________________________ Top 10 Movie Titles Rejected by Touchstone ____________________________________________________________ 10. Woody Allen's "Husbands and Daughters" 9. "Walt Disney - The Good Humor Man" 8. "Honey, I Microwaved the Kids" 7. "The Bodyguard II: I'll Never Love _That_ Way Again" 6. "Petty Woman - The Leona Helmsley Story" 5. "Cocoon III: Invasion of the Bodily Fluids" 4. "A Padded Cell Of Their Own" 3. "Jane Fonda's Workout Movie" 2. "The Home Boys Meet the Visitors" [This is NOT a refer- ence to a certain NHL expansion team - ed.] And the number one Movie Title rejected by Touchstone in the last twelve months is... 1. "Alive 2: Cooking with Jeffrey Dahmer" ____________________________________________________________ Good and Bad at Disney ____________________________________________________________ In view of the enormous response to our contest, we at DIS' 'N' DAT are going to try yet another attempt at audi- ence participation. Simply let us know exactly what is GOOD and what is BAD at Disney. June 93 DIS' 'N' DAT Page 3 A few entries are shown below to indicate the format being used [thanks to ins448c@aurora.cc.monash.edu.au (Quet- zal) for his early input]. GOOD BAD Robin Williams as the Gilbert Gotfried as Iago Genie "Who Framed Roger Rab- "Pete's Dragon" bit?" Roy Disney, Sr. Roy Disney, Jr. "Alladin" "Alive" Howard Ashman Alan Mencken Alan Mencken Tim Rice Walt Disney World Euro-Disney Jodi Benson Rene Auberjonois from "Benson" At least one new animated Animated features coming feature per year every seven years Smokey Robinson at open- Ronald Reagan at opening ing of Euro-Disney of Disneyland "Perfect Isn't Easy" from It was written by Barry "Oliver & Co." Manilow As you can see, the list is entirely subjective. Any and all entries made (in good taste, of course, but DIS' 'N' DAT has never been accused of having any taste) will be printed in an upcoming issue. Send your entries to the pub- lisher at "lg@uplap4.se.wang.com." ____________________________________________________________ Advertisement ____________________________________________________________ An artist... A genius... The most influential person of the twentieth century... All these terms have been used to describe one profound individual: Walter Elias Disney. Yes, the father of Mickey Mouse... of Disneyland... of "Saludos Amigos" can be yours for a limited time only. The Benjamin Mint is proud to offer this endearing portrait of the mystical personality of Mr. Disney, created by the June 93 DIS' 'N' DAT Page 4 award winning minimalist artist Victor Memsley, whose works are sought after by collectors and law officers everywhere. Entitled "The Final Resting Place," this piece captures a piece of Walt's history in its depiction of a solid block of ice. Each work is hand-numbered and bordered in genuine plastic. Each bears the artist's signature mark that has been connected with the artist in over five states on the bottom. Priced at $1499.95, this Limited Edition will be closed for- ever after just fifteen firing days, or when a certain court injunction is filed. Available EXCLUSIVELY from the Ben- jamin Mint, 1515 Benjamin Place, Benjamin Heights, DC. SEND NO MONEY NOW... just let us know your credit card num- ber (and account limit), and we will send you your just deserts when it becomes available. LIMIT ONE WORK PER CREDIT CARD PLEASE. Please allow four to sixty weeks for delivery. Offer void where prohibited, taxed, or where effective Consumer Affairs legislation has been enacted. ____________________________________________________________ Find the Hidden Mickey... ____________________________________________________________ We now have three entries for our contest, to "Find the Hidden Mickey" that is cleverly concealed on Michael Eisner, the CEO of Walt Disney Company. Keep the entries coming in, and we will reveal the location in a future issue of DIS' 'N' DAT. All people that care to enter, simply send mail to "lg@uplap4.se.wang.com," with a subject line containing the phrase "Hidden Mickey Contest," and describe exactly where you have spotted (or think you have spotted) Ole Mick' on the CEO of the Walt Disney Company. Contestants may enter as many times as they wish, and make as many "findings" as desired in each entry. If you wish your entry to be anonymous, please state so in your entry. The results will be posted in a future issue of DIS' 'N' DAT. Actually, we are not fooling anybody, are we? There is only one person that actually reads the ``Hidden Mickey'' section of DIS' 'N' DAT, and that is Roger Turkelbury, of Ames Bend, Indiana. Hi, Roger! Sorry I haven't written to you in a long time, but I had a feeling that somebody was reading your email when I got that official looking letter June 93 DIS' 'N' DAT Page 5 from your company's lawyers. And then, I remembered the "Hidden Mickey" contest, and the fact that you were the only entry that arrived (via USmail, even!). You were right, by the way, with the location. Clever, wasn't he? Anyway, I also wanted to thank you for that wonderful gift you sent my wife for her birthday last year. Not too many people would have thought of an anti-perspirent with the amazing ``sar- dine'' scent. My cats love it. She does have trouble sleeping, though. Anyway... I'll use this private forum to keep in touch with you from now on. ____________________________________________________________ DIS' 'N' DAT is published semi-regularly by Larry Gen- sch. Nothing may be reprinted in whole or in part without attribution to DIS' 'N' DAT. All incidents, situations, and events depicted or described in DIS' 'N' DAT are fictional, and any semblance to real life is really, you know, coincidental. People wishing to contribute to DIS' 'N' DAT should send email to the publication at the internet address "lg@uplap4.se.wang.com." Please state explicitly if you wish to retain copyright for any material submitted. June 93